![]() ![]() Once a chewed up book came back with an apology note written from the dog’s POV.The patron looked me straight in the eye and said “I found it like this.” They opened it up to reveal a smushed packet of McDonalds BBQ sauce inside. Someone brought a copy of The Hallow Boy to the reference desk.A few days later, he rushed in with the book, very excited, because the book had, indeed, been under the car seat-of his pot dealer. When we’re asking patrons to check again for a book they think they’ve returned, we often suggest checking under the car seat however, this patron didn’t drive so he dismissed that idea.The book was What to Expect: The Toddler Years. We got back a book that was crayoned all over, had water damage (some mouth-shaped), and torn. My favorite story is not so much weird as inevitable.Four-year-old, returning a book after a book care lesson: “I tried really hard to take care of my book, but my sister peed on it.”.A book was returned damaged one time because the patron’s dog had gotten a claw stuck in their waterbed, caused a gush of water to spring forth, and thereby, damaged the book. One of the librarians told me after that that wasn’t even the weirdest water-related incident they’d had. ![]() My library, bless them, tried to salvage the books by putting them in the freezer, but alas, I’m now the owner of two library books I simply wanted to borrow. Why did I need to replace those books, you ask? Because when we had those record-breaking cold days in Chicagoland, cases of seltzer exploded in my car, getting the books covered in ice, which then warmed up and melted, thereby destroying the spines and pages of those books. Things only became more embarrassing this year when I resolved to not accrue more than $30 in fines all year and, well, within two months not only doubled that, but ended up needing to pay for replacements of two books. I don’t know how to return things on time, and no matter how much I say I’ll do better, I just don’t. Confession: I’m a terrible library patron. ![]()
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